If you recently have had to make the difficult decision of moving your parent to an assisted living facility, it is quite possible that you have a range of emotions.
The emotions can include:
Guilt – You think you should be able to take care of your loved one until the end of their life. Everyone has limits. There typically comes a time with professional care is best for everyone involved. The emotion of guilt is quite normal in these situations.
Grief – We emotionally and physically react to any type of loss and change. In order to come to terms with loss to something that matters in our lives, we go through grief. Grief is like guilt, it is to be expected. If this is a parent, you are grieving the role your parent had to nurture and care for you.
Ways to Help Yourself Adjust during this Transition:
- You are coping with a significant adjustment. The situation won’t be changing, but you can give yourself permission to take a pause and understand the challenges that you face.
- You made the best decision possible, taking into consideration your loved one’s needs and the resources available to meet them.
- Remembering that you never had full control of the situation, can help lessen your guilt. Accept the fact that you did not cause this.
- Find someone that you can talk over your concerns with, both inside the facility and outside of it. Communication with the staff of the facility will be important. It will especially be important to be an advocate for your loved one if they have dementia. Find someone that you can trust with your guilt, grief and other emotions.
- There are many benefits when it comes to living in an assisted living home. Many people find that their loved one improves in a facility because they are able to get consistent care that family members are not always able to provide at home.
- Recognize that it is normal to have these conflicting emotions.
- Remember that having 24-hour care in a safe place will help everyone, most importantly your loved one.
- The structure and schedule of the facility will benefit your loved one. They will have opportunities to socialize with other people in similar situations.
- Do something nice for yourself each day to also take care of yourself. Take time to meet your needs.
We care about the impact of guilt on adult children. For this reason, we offer higher standards of care. You can have confidence that your parent is getting the best care possible, allowing yourself to let go of your guilt.